Sunday, February 12, 2012
Revision Déjà Vu
As soon as I got an appointment I started packing my stuff to make the trek to Sacramento. I had to drop out of my law class, postpone my agility training with Dakota, and stop my volunteer work with the public defender's office. All three of these things are equally important to me and it makes me angry I have to put my life on hold again. I am lucky my law class is offered again next semester, my amazing agility trainer is willing to work with Dakota and me when I get back to Reno so we can catch up, and the empathetic staff at the public defender's office recognized that I am dedicated to being there and asked me to come back once I am well again. Sometimes it's humiliating to share my illness with people I barely know because I don't want to look weak. However, I have gotten some great support without judgement which is appreciated.
I have not yet gotten confirmation that I need a revision from Dr. Boggan, but there is no doubt in my mind. My Medtronics rep knows too. I asked her if having this many revisions is normal and she says absolutely not. Having the battery in my stomach just isn't the right place for me and we're going to have to move it. I assume he'll move it to my chest area, which freaked me out back in May but now I just want it to work! I'm going to push for a rechargeable battery since they are smaller than the non-rechargeable and since it will be in my chest I don't want it totally obvious.
My greatest hope is that this is my last revision for a while and I can have it done before my birthday in March. I realize my healing time will be a bit longer than normal since I'll have two incisions that have to heal and because the wire needs to be re-tunneled, I'm going to be very sore. However, the stimulator gives me such great pain relief when it's working properly. Which is why I am willing to go under anesthesia for the fourth time in a year.
Please forgive me if I'm babbling and/or not making a ton of sense. I'm in a lot of pain and I'm so tired.