Home at Last

I drove the few hours back home a little over a week ago. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. I hadn't driven in probably two months and I wasn't ready to leave the comfort of my mom's house. I think I was overwhelmed. It feels like I'm mostly out of pain and now I should get right back to my old life- working at least 25 hours a week and going to school full time. I mean, why wouldn't I? I feel overwhelmed. So I'm trying to take things one step at a time and give myself a break.

I am enjoying being out of pain. It's been 4 years, which, at 25, might as well be a lifetime. To say that I'm completely pain free would be a lie, yet it's minimal and I can handle it. Sometimes the stimulator bugs me. I can't exactly explain why, but I just turn it off to give myself a break. I have it on for the majority of my day and I usually sleep with it on. I keep it very low, around 1-1.5. The power goes up to 10 (or so I'm told, I turned it up to 3 and it really started to hurt). I also found that keeping the pulse width low (25-40) gives me more relief than turning it higher. I have 4 different programs I can choose from (A1, A2, B1 and B2). They are all a bit different and I usually stick with the A's. The B's seem to irritate my scalp which makes it itch.

I'm trying a new scar removal patch. I bought Bio Oil and despite the label that told me it was not oily, it really was. I let it dry for an hour then put on a shirt and stained it. So I bought ScarAway silicone patches since they are supposed to work well and they were affordable ($20 for 8 weeks). I know they are not the highest rated on the market, but I couldn't afford the $50+ for the Cica Care which are supposed to be the best. I enjoy the patches since they do not get in my way at all. I put them on at night, leave it on for 12 hours and take it off. Each patch is good for one week and you get eight in a box.

I have been trying to push myself to get out of bed and do something every day. My stamina is totally shot and I get exhausted easily. I know that it's going to take a while until I'm "normal" but it's almost fun working up to that goal. Next week my boyfriend and I are taking a vacation. We'll be going to the California coast and camping. But not real camping, KOA camping with cabins and all since I'm not quite up to sleeping on the ground.